53. To Enjoy It

First of all, hello again guys! Big hugs. It's been since June 24 and I've missed this project. It was a crazy, CRAZY summer to say the least. I'll be the first to admit it was a little too much with how I was trying to give my all to both jobs with skydiving and the tunnel...but also worth it :P When I would think about this site, I kept dismissing it, telling myself I didn't care about it anymore. Saturday/Sundays were 7:30-3:30 at Skydive Spaceland, then 4:30-11ish at ifly...sprinting to my car, speeding 90 between jobs, spraying dry shampoo and body spray like crazy...semi going crazy. Weeks were full of ifly and coaching work. No matter how hard I worked for balance, I was depleted on my rare time off. Luckily, I have amazing bosses at Spaceland and ifly; in September they made schedule adjustments for me to work skydiving on the weekend and ifly on the weekdays. Now in November, when I have some peace to reflect, I realized something.

The point of all of this is to enjoy it. Sounds simple, right? But really think about it for your life. We spend so much energy on endless things yet often feel so unfulfilled. It can be energy on good, important things we love, but if we forget to enjoy it all, then why? For example, I wanted my dream of instructing at ifly, Spaceland and coaching so f*cking badly. Yes, I far passed my goals for this year...but did I really enjoy it in the process? I'm a forever believer in the hard work, struggle, accomplishment...but in the process there must be enjoyment.

For me it became a question to why am I doing all of this? To be the best? Money? To be an organizer someday? To prove doubters wrong? Truth in each, but really 'nope' to all. When I dug deep, it honestly is to enjoy each day doing a sport that I have always loved. To enjoy going to the dropzone, to enjoy flying at the tunnel, to love teaching others, to wake up with my beloved cup of coffee each morning and be excited for the day, to intentionally say I'm going to enjoy this day- every day. To enjoy the goals, challenges, achievements, lessons, wins, obstacles, learning. Through the hardest of times, there is always something for which to be grateful. With this realization, 32 years into life, 3 years into this adventure, I feel relieved and things seem clearer. I've had a few amazing teachers of this in my life but had to live it and realize it myself. I'll always have strong fire to work my hardest on my goals but now with the #1 priority of enjoying it all.

With that said...this is back! I realized this blog is something I have so enjoyed along the journey. It's been a way of reflection, sharing the journey, and feeling the connection to people my story has helped. I love the messages how my story impacted others- often when I needed to hear this the most. Since I realized I enjoy it, with enjoyment as the the main goal now, I am going to continue it.

p.s. an infamous family story is how when I was 6, my parents had to take away a newly gifted checkers game because I would lose it over any loss in the game. See my point? p.p.s sorry Mom and Dad XO