44. Florida Try II

woodburyroland
Jun 14, 2018
7 min read

Here I am sitting at Whole Foods in Houston, a day off from my dream skydiving job, my favorite Kambucha in hand, just getting off an hour amazing call with my best friend Amy, feeling happy, feeling comfortable. It's crazy to sit and write about a must harder chapter that was just 3 months ago. I believe these blissful days are only so blissful because of those harder chapters- it makes these sweet days that much sweeter. Often people are so hesitant to talk about hard times, with the world of social media mostly showing us an unreal 100% bliss. Because of that, I believe it is so important to share the harder stories- it shows we are all in this together, the hard days do pass, and the happiness found makes that fight worth it. I've come to realize life is a constant cycle of this. Hint: this Florida chapter was the struggle in that life cycle :P

So if you've been following along, our time in Florida had not been...fun. After that, while in San Diego interviewing, I made a choice to take a job in Deland, Florida as the Sports Marketing Manager for a skydiving company, Flight-1. I had concerns about that choice but combining my past career with skydiving *had* been a dream - this opportunity seemed pretty closed. Pair that with Skydive Deland being a center for world class training and my parents vacationing in Florida for the winter- seemed logical.

I flew San Diego to Naples, FL to first seem my grandmother and parents for a week before starting the job. This place has been an important part of my life, visiting each winter there, so it was incredibly grounding to be there.

This stretch was a crazy, crazy, crazyyy time of life. I was coming off the highest year of my life- traveling the world skydiving, living life with a man I loved with my whole heart, getting my AFFI rating. Then hitting such a low in Zephyrhills. Then a breakup with him. There I was trying to piece it all together, add up all the lessons from the year and make smart, healthy moves for my future. A salaried job, health benefits, 401k in skydiving on paper sounded pretty great.

That week in Naples with family before the job started was incredibly. My parents gave me such intense love, comfort, understanding, patience, good food. The runs with my dad and delicious meals by my dad were incredibly comforting.

My 94 year old grandmother also was especially supportive and loving. She and my grandfather were always a huge part of our lives- supportive of family, education and being good people. Along with that came conservative views, lifestyle and expectations for my life. Somehow, maybe with age, this trip with my grandmother was completely different. For the first time, I admitted to my skydiving. I was shocked to find her open, curious, supportive and loving me even more. With such extreme cultural changes from the time she was with my age as a female, I respect her so much for having an open mind to my passion and life.

The past year of traveling created such intense reflection on life, family, childhood, scars, fears, etc. that also opened up a lot of reflection on family- not all of it easy. This week with family in between the year of traveling and start of working again gave such healing and relief- that I could reflect on and process the family history- and after that feel the closest we have been. I am the most I have every been of my amazing family- strengths, weaknesses, and the beautiful family we have. Tears! I love you all more than words <3

The week before starting in Deland, I was invited to an impressive marketing conference for skydiving-specific companies by James LeBarrie with Dropzone Marketing in South Carolina. I met him through my FL AFFI examiner, he connected me to Skydive Perris and Flight-1 for interviews, wanted to hire me but didn't have room on his team, so then gave me complimentary entrance to the conference. I thank him forever for the unconditional support through that process of finding my next step after traveling.

So- Deland. The positive? I found an Airbnb 2 miles from the dropzone, owned by Connie. Sunday night, my parents dropped me off with 8 bags and every gut sense screaming this was the wrong step. Connie lived with her elderly mother, both Colombian, and had 3 women over that evening, also from Colombian. Colombia is where I always pictured myself with Ivan after all the traveling- a place that changed me forever. Being in their Colombian love that week of Deland (yes, week) was the true lifesaver. The grandmother made me tea and eggs each morning. Connie texted me each day checking in on me, put out snacks in the morning, invited me to her dance classes, toured me around Deland and brought me to work on things at her favorite coffee shop...and also was the getaway car when I cleaned out my office.

Friday evening on the way to the grocery store, Connie and I had a powerful talk about men, our pasts and now knowing exactly what we deserve and want in order to be strong women. It's a conversation that has powered me through the past months.

We still talk a lot and I'll forever love them. Te amo!

The hard part? I immediately knew this was not the place or job for me. After the part year, my gut sense, knowledge of what I want and deserve was at an all time high. For privacy reasons, I won't go into detail. I stayed there for a week, riding my bike to work, riding it home in tears, full of anger this could be so opposite of what I wanted.

I did something I had never done before and never want to do again- I gave my resignation after a week. This was horrifying- no plan for the future, leaving a company with all the big names in skydiving, no boyfriend to support me, the money I had saved for traveling past depleted. Yet, I REFUSED to settle into that after 8 challenging years in corporate and a year of life-changing travel. I knew what I wanted and how I wanted to feel- maybe not in a job description of life plan, but as a person. I do respect the people there, the success of their skydiving careers and wish them the very best.

Thank God for good friends and family. My parents immediately supported this- my respect for them truly doubled. Kevin, a best friend previously from SD, came to Deland, picked me up with all my suitcases, listened to my crazy stories, took me to the ocean, took me for a motorcycle ride, treated me to a Mexican dinner, gave me a closet for 6/8 suitcases and ride to the Miami shuttle. It was a hilarious moment when he said "Woody, how are you going to travel to Miami and your next step with 8 suitcase?" Me- "Eh, I'm just going to wing it..." Thank goodness he made me leave most of them there- with zero judgement of my choices. I did wing it with how I'd get those suitcases again.

When texting with Kevin months later about how he saved the day, I said, "Damn, you must have thought that was all crazy. He responded, "I thought exactly the opposite. How adventurous and badass. Most people would just accept their situation. Except you. You said fuck it and pursued your next adventure!" Lots of thoughts about that- summarized is the importance of having only the people in my life who believe in me.

Then there I was in a shuttle to the Miami airport to meet my mom and sister, Carly, who was arriving from 6 life-changing months in Costa Rica. My world was spinning but seeing her grounded it all. I also give my mom and elderly grandmother such credit for welcoming me back to Naples a week later- just love, no judgement.

It's insane to me how much can happen in a year, week, day or even moment.

In such a challenging time of making a big job choice, an even bigger choice to leave it, and the biggest choice to have no plan, it was a true miracle I got to spend it with my sister. She had just had her life changed in Costa Rica- immersed in their beautiful culture, people, yogis, health enthusiasts and open minded souls. She brought us gems, beach wood, hand made jewelry and an immense sense of knowledge of what really matters in this life. Her love was radiating the brightest I had ever seen and that was infectious to me that week. We had beach days, cooking days, following lizard days ;) (Shh, Mom still doesn't know!), belated birthday celebrations and life talks. I loved looking at old sister pictures together. I've always appreciated Carly, my mom, and my grandma (Dad too but he was off on business) but that time sandwiching the Deland chapter is definitely the time I appreciated them most.

Deep breath right now, it's crazy to look back and write about that time of life. Moved to outside seating at Whole Foods, changed Pandora station, another deep breath.

How to summarize... While I don't necessarily recommend leaving a job after a week, I do have a strong message learned from this chapter. Always, always truly know your worth, what you deserve, what you value, what you want. When it comes to jobs, men, women, friends, everything. Always, always truly know your worth, what you deserve, what you value, what you want. Never forget it and never settle for anything less. Trust you gut, trust your instinct. When you know something is not right, make moves to change it. Know how hard you will fight for happiness and armor up.

I did move past Florida, I did find my dream job, and life did move on. It would have been a hell of a lot easier to not have had the Deland chapter yet I do not regret it. I am incredibly grateful for these lessons learned. I would have always wondered the what-ifs if I had turned down that opportunity. I gained life experience you don't get from things always being easy. I had incredibly valuable time with family. And look, I survived, it passed and I got to a happy place.