3. Step 15 Before Step 1

1st i am going to back up and explain that all of these travels were totally, completely unplanned. my best skydiving friends and i had previously planned costa rica but as i quite my job right before that trip, i had zero travels planned, a way-too-expensive lease until august and no idea of the path for the next few months. BUT, i did know i wanted to travel and knew that the fire in me would make this life time dream happen.

PR was a total high all around and as with all places, i fell in love and could have stayed right there for months. my friends literally dragged me home- i was up until 3 am the night before trying to change my flight, my phone broke at the airport so i could not accept the airline offer to delay, we popped the last bottle of champagne at the airport and we drank wine the whole way home to forget we had to leave paradise.

as i got back from puerto rico, i had a condo to get rid of, months of travel to plan and friends to say bye to- i am awful with goodbyes of any kind. i got home on a sunday night and was determined to be leaving the country within a week- march 1st was stuck in my head. i often under-estimate reality and my dreams can make reality a little blurry. i posted an open-house for that tuesday- assuming i would easily get rid of my apartment. when i leased it from the condo owner just 6 months before, 50 people showed up. my sister and i were even joking if i should serve food and drinks. then 1 girl showed up. up until that point, i felt amazing about my plan to travel- i had planned the dream in my head, puerto rico had been unreal, every single person in my life supported me- from the CEO of my previous company to the biggest pessimist to the people who know me best, i had saved money, i had put in my time at jobs i hated. as i saw this girl walk in, i feared i would be faced with thousands of dollars in fees for breaking a lease and it was the 1st time i questioned this plan.

i held my breath the next few days as she went through the application process. i also continued to quickly start planning my travels which to anyone logical would seem so reversed and completely ridiculous. to me though, this whole break-free, follow-my-dream thing wouldn't happen in-the-box-way of thinking. if i continued to live that way, i would be 95 in a nursing home saying why the hell didn't i just do it? so the day i gave my resignation at my job, i knew i would have to just make moves without total logic, without the shoulds or coulds or practicality of 1st, 2nd, 3rd steps in order.

in those last few days of waiting to see if she would sign the lease, planning multiple steps of this trip, saying goodbyes, panicked in yoga about the lease, i realized in those moments i would have to toughen the f* up if this was going to work. to truly trust my gut, listen to my intuition, throw away the typical life rules, just got for it and believe.

and guess what- she did finally sign the lease and i was truly free. this thing that i thought was a huge obstacle was actually gone within 3 days. champagne was definitely popped that night. i then had 4 days before i left for argentina. (yes mom, i admit i bought that expensive ticket before the lease was signed- and hey, it worked!) within days, movers came, we drank lots of champagne, i planned more travel, had one last girls sleepover...and then it was march 1st i was on the train on my way to argentina!!!

saying goodbye to alex, emily and steph- they have been always been such incredible friends- and especially in supporting me now:

i threw out at least half of everything i owned...which felt amazing. the rose was the very last thing in my apartment. even though i was able to throw out some of my favorite belongings, i couldn't bare to throw out the rose. i brought it to my friend emily's so she could keep it... thank goodness my friends get me so well.

this is everything i wanted to bring...way too much. i texted this to my traveling little sister and she said- bring just 1 of everything...not like 12 of everything. she is 6 years younger and i always go to her for the best advice...good thing i raised her well ;)

i show these pictures of my place in little italy because i think it captures the comfort i was leaving- and a good reminder that comfort and security does not mean happiness.